Once upon a time.

Once upon a time I lived in a foreign place.
I met new people.
I heard new languages.
I learned new things.
I tasted new flavors.
I saw new places.

It was quite the unbelievable and if-this-is-real-please-pinch-me experience.

All too soon, it was over. And I was sitting on a plane towards home next to my long-lost mother, on a spacious middle row of seats we had to ourselves, deciding which of the available fifty or so movies I wanted to watch on my personal tv screen after a four month American-entertainment hiatus, and which (or rather all) of the indispensable snacks I wanted to order in order to enjoy it. (I vow to you with Air New Zealand....best airline EVER.)

But even with the comfort and satisfaction provided by the combination of all these elements, it was hard to be distracted from the fury of emotion raging inside of me.

-I get to finally sleep in my fluffy queen-sized bed tonight!
-(Nostalgically) I'll never go to sleep to the sound of Jamie's creaky bunk above me again.
-I can order ice, enjoy free tap water, and indulge in bottomless soft-drinks!
-Will I ever get to delight in digestives, penguin bars, and yogurt-covered bananas again?
-I get to travel with the convenience of my car!
-Now I don't have an excuse to people watch or listen to my ipod.
-I can see and talk to my family EVERYDAY!
-It's was nice to have a free pass from chores...dangit.

You get the idea.

And the conflicted feelings didn't get any easier! It was so confusing. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and text uncontrollably with my newly re-activated phone, "I'M HOOOOOOOMMMEEEE!!!" But at the same time, I wanted to sleep for days and transform my body back into it's old, true form before I could be seen again....in public. Vanity won out in the end. I've been hiding in seclusion now for weeks. Almost like a celebrity waiting at home to recover from a nose job. Except not like that. Because obviously I'm not a celebrity. And I would much rather spend that kind of money on something more appropriate, humble, sensible, and worthy.

Like a boob job.     <---JUST KIDDINGGG!!

Well guess what? I'm home. And did I gain weight from eating too much chocolate and have a freakish body reaction from the climate change? Yes. And has it been a slow, grueling process to get back to normal? You have no idea. But was it worth it? ABSOLUTELY. Especially the frequent gelato stops with Mom in Italy.

So there. Take that US magazine.