Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Parting isn't an easy thing..

...unless what you are giving up is for an iPhone.

It's maybe one of the greatest inventions of all times (besides skinny jeans and George Foreman grills).

I.LOVE.MY.IPHONE.....but it came at a price.  And not just the $200 + $100 Verizon cancellation fee.

No, it was a sentimental price of voicemail messages of days long past.

This probably isn't the right and proper forum to be admitting this....but what the heck. Maybe I'm doing a service to everyone by disclosing that I do it too....(Nod with a yes).

No longer will I have the following to resurface every few months for re-saving approval and make me crack a nostalgic smile when trying to check the missed call from my gloomy credit card company:

1. Grandma singing me "Happy Birthday" two years ago.
2. Boyfriend #1 using his "smaushy" voice and telling me he couldn't wait to see me later that day.
3. Boyfriend #2 talking quietly under the covers so his parents wouldn't get mad that he called me so late. (How Taylor Swift is that?)
4. Aunt expressing her love and appreciation for stopping by for the weekend with some friends.
5. Boyfriend #3 awkwardly explaining why his call dropped. (We had just started dating...hence the need to clarify such a tragedy, let's be clear.)
6. Boyfriend #2 making his last call to me for two years before his mission.
7. Boy #4 upset that I left for school without saying goodbye.
8. Boy #5 Asking me out on a lunch date after my mother so nicely left my number on a napkin at the restaurant.

If you count correctly, that's a voicemail saved from every boyfriend. Every boyfriend I've ever had. Every boyfriend I've EVER had over the past four years.

I'm a sentimental creature, okay?

Each marked a tender stage of my adolescence.


But now I'm twenty. Yup, twenty. And with twenty came my iPhone. And with my iPhone came a new, fresh voicemail system. And with this new voicemail system came no more annoying screen icons to get rid of by checking voicemails and pressing four to save. And with no option to press four to save came no way to save those eight voicemails any longer.

So if I'm doing my math correctly (if A=B & B=C, then A=C), with twenty came no way to save those eight voicemails.

Why does twenty have to be so vindictive to me?

Oh, oh. Because twenty begins a new decade: the decade of decisions, which CAN'T involve any wistful, over-saved, boyfriend-filled memories of fun.

But you want to know why I'll be okay?

......because I have my iPhone.

.....and I can probably find an app for that.