Thoughts.

 I walked the Brooklyn Bridge this weekend and was settling at a park with some Grimaldi's pizza when I got caught up in some thoughts.



These past few weeks have been a significant step in my life.

I began my first “job.”

Though it is just a “job,” and though I’ve had plenty of experience working, not having my father as the paycheck author makes me feel more qualified in calling myself an “adult.”

Is that silly? It’s still simple busy work like filing and running menial errands to the post office, except that this time I don’t have the cushion of knowing that no matter what the result of my work, my dad will love me unconditionally when we both take our shoes off at the door of our home.

I had absolutely no idea what to expect my first day of work—I was a walking mess. The only other time I can remember being that nervous was when I decided to try-out for the BYU Cheer Team my senior year of high school. Bearing this memory to mind, I quickly realized that the odds of unprecedented success were highly out of my favor since I fell on my face and nearly passed chunks on the judges at my time of introduction...

But what would be the point of life if it were nothing more than a mere pattern of humiliation and failures, almost a form of self-determined destiny? It would be nothing, right?

Right.

That’s when I came across my epiphany: the power of confidence.

I like to think that I’ve done my fair share of observation and research in the area of confidence; my specialty is in the realm of dating. Girl meets boy (or boy meets girl) and gives a few interested gestures or flirtatious banter to fuel the fire, in the form of self-confidence. One moment of vulnerability and low self-esteem too soon and the fire can fizzle out. With dating, confidence is invaluable. That’s why prospects come in numbers at a time or in long, arid spells of none.

Now I understand that the above seems like an unnecessary tangent, but epiphanies are complex.

Are you still listening?

Confidence was my ticket out of the toilet (literally). I came in twenty minutes early to work, shook with a firm handshake, flashed a pearly, close-to-but-not-quite arrogant smile, and settled myself in an aura of ease.

Thirty minutes later, I was entrusted with researching and contacting NYC event space venues and alcoholic sponsors, rather than the paper cutter...as was assigned to the new intern today.

So I suppose the point of my (long) message is:
If you believe in yourself, everyone else (like my intern director) will too.

Just go for it.

-Hay.