I was given this teddy bear by a dear high school friend of mine for graduation....a real treasure, right?
Wrong. I mean yes, he is a treasure in relevance to the friend who gave it to me, but out of that context, he makes me want to hide in the closet. You see, he was constructed at Build-A-Bear and therefore, has a voice. Cute, right?
Wrong. When I go to sleep at night in my little dorm bed, I tend to roll around. Sometimes I get caught in sheets, sometimes I have a full bladder, sometimes the room is a little too stuffy, but worst of all, sometimes I accidentally roll onto said bear and his deep, male voice projects itself to the room. "Hey Haley"....and blah blah blah with the recording. This all happens while I'm sleeping, in the dark. It's just about the creepiest thing imaginable at 3 am. A soft scream is justifiable, right?
Right. I love this bear--in the daylight. He's cute and cuddly, like the friend who gave it to me. But he's another being when the sun goes down--like a Chuckie doll, or a Furby, or a Peeping Tom.
Build-A-Bear should include a new amendment on their birth certificates. "Warning: Is evil from the hours of 7pm-6am." Or maybe an age-appropriate rating like they use on the movies?